I strongly encourage anyone considering proceeding with any assisted reproduction arrangement to read this article written by Heather Ross at the American Fertility Association blog:

You may know well before your child is born how and when you plan to talk about how he/she was conceived. You may intend to wait until the child reaches a certain age, and may have specific ideas on what information to disclose and how to disclose it. But what if something happens to you prior to this disclosure? Or what if you do not plan to disclose to your child how he/she was born unless there is a medical emergency requiring disclosure? How do you protect your child and your ability to disseminate this information?

Most intended parents involved in third party reproductive arrangements enter into an agreement with the donor and/or surrogate setting forth the expectations, obligations and intentions of each participant to the family building arrangement. Although this agreement is crucial to any third party arrangement, the agreement will not address (nor should it) your wishes with respect to how you intend to tell your child about his/her conception or birth.

Moreover, in many third party reproductive arrangements, parentage cannot be established until after the birth of the child. What if something happens to you and/or your spouse or partner before the child is born or parentage proceedings have been completed? Although you will have your legal agreement with the donor/surrogate, there is no guarantee that the agreement will be enforced or upheld by a court should a dispute occur. Many states have few, if any, statutes or case law on assisted reproductive technology. This lack of legal guidance can lead to uncertainty with respect to how the parties’ intentions may be interpreted by a court, especially if one party is incapacitated or deceased.

Entering into an estate plan will help clarify the intent of the parties and provide legal certainty to both intended parents and donors. Because states have different laws governing genetic donations and/or surrogacy, as well as heirship, and the parties involved may live in different states, the first step is to make sure your attorney is knowledgeable about which state law should apply, the law in that state, and the law in your own state. The laws governing your donation/surrogacy arrangement should be considered in drafting your estate plan.

Estate planning documents are essential for situations where the intended parents cannot establish parentage prior to the birth of the child. For example, if state law does not allow intended parents to form a legal marriage or domestic partnership (or even if it does), the non-carrying intended parent or non-genetic intended parent may only be able to establish his/her parentage after the birth of the child and completion of an adoption proceeding. If that intended parent were to die prior to the child’s birth, the child may not be considered the natural or legal child of the deceased intended parent, and absent a will, may not inherit from his or her estate. Perhaps more troubling is a situation where the carrying or genetically related intended parent dies or becomes incapacitated prior to or during birth. Without proper estate planning documents, the hospital may prevent the surviving intended parent from making health care decisions for the child. The surviving intended parent may also have difficulty proving the deceased partner’s intent that the surviving partner be deemed the legal parent or guardian of the child. Careful estate planning, including guardianship forms or health care powers of attorney, can be instrumental in alleviating these road blocks….

You can read the rest of the article here.